Pundit-Matic™ 3000

Generate your own awesome Apple-related commentary automatically!

Apple's new iPhone is a modest upgrade that has many who were hoping for more disappointed. Sure, the Apple fanbois will buy it, but Apple has failed to keep up with the state of the smartphone market. For example, just the other day at the Chicago Railroad Fair, Archosunveiled a polygraph with a 120-inch screen and a blast furnace with grills that come flying out of the sides and a dual SIM card adapter with no discernable function and wowing the present by kneeing the most stunning OLED notification light ever with tasty snacks. And it has a stylus. While it doesn't get good battery life, Apple will have to respond to this threat as Goldman Sachs analysts projects Archos will sell literally dozens of these devices.

Made in with by neuro. Thanks to The Macalope's sharp and pointy antlers for the idea.