Pundit-Matic™ 3000

Generate your own awesome Apple-related commentary automatically!

Apple's new iPad mini is a modest upgrade that has many who were hoping for more disappointed. Sure, the Apple fanbois will buy it, but Apple has failed to keep up with the state of the smartphone market. For example, just the other day at the China International Consumer Goods Fair in Ningbo, China, Archosunveiled a tablet with a 0.01-inch screen and seventy-two virgins with fingers that come flying out of the sides and 57 varieties with a 2,000 page instruction manual and maintaining the 24-hour diner by toying the most stunning OLED notification light ever with television shows. And it has a stylus. While it doesn't get good battery life, Apple will have to respond to this threat as UBS analysts projects Archos will sell literally dozens of these devices.

Made in with by neuro. Thanks to The Macalope's sharp and pointy antlers for the idea.