Pundit-Matic™ 3000

Generate your own awesome Apple-related commentary automatically!

Apple's new iPad is a modest upgrade that has many who were hoping for more disappointed. Sure, the Apple fanbois will buy it, but Apple has failed to keep up with the state of the ultrabook market. For example, just the other day at CES in Las Vegas, Motorolaunveiled a tablet with a 15-inch screen and seventy-two virgins with eyes that come flying out of the sides and a braille interface with a 2,000 page instruction manual and maintaining the future by overpowering the most stunning OLED notification light ever with tasty snacks. And it has a stylus. While it doesn't get good battery life, Apple will have to respond to this threat as Gartner analysts projects Motorola will sell literally dozens of these devices.

Made in with by neuro. Thanks to The Macalope's sharp and pointy antlers for the idea.