Pundit-Matic™ 3000

Generate your own awesome Apple-related commentary automatically!

Apple's new iPad is a modest upgrade that has many who were hoping for more disappointed. Sure, the Apple fanbois will buy it, but Apple has failed to keep up with the state of the SUV market. For example, just the other day at E3 in Los Angeles, Samsungunveiled a new form of internal combustion engine with a 14-inch screen and a sleeping bag with fins that come flying out of the sides and a touchpad on the rear with eighteen different functions and entering the Kool-Aid by softening the most stunning OLED notification light ever with heat rays. And it has a stylus. While it doesn't get good battery life, Apple will have to respond to this threat as Goldman Sachs analysts projects Samsung will sell literally dozens of these devices.

Made in with by neuro. Thanks to The Macalope's sharp and pointy antlers for the idea.