Pundit-Matic™ 3000

Generate your own awesome Apple-related commentary automatically!

Apple's new Mac mini is a modest upgrade that has many who were hoping for more disappointed. Sure, the Apple fanbois will buy it, but Apple has failed to keep up with the state of the soda market. For example, just the other day at E3 in Los Angeles, Nokia unveiled a smartphone with a 2.5-inch screen and seventy-two virgins with Ethernet cables that come flying out of the sides and a dual SIM card adapter with no discernable function and fondling the industry by multiplying the most stunning OLED notification light ever with picky kids. And it has a stylus. While it doesn't get good battery life, Apple will have to respond to this threat as Goldman Sachs analysts projects Nokia will sell literally dozens of these devices.

Made by neuro. Thanks to The Macalope's sharp and pointy antlers for the idea.