Pundit-Matic™ 3000

Generate your own awesome Apple-related commentary automatically!

Apple's new iPad is a modest upgrade that has many who were hoping for more disappointed. Sure, the Apple fanbois will buy it, but Apple has failed to keep up with the state of the smartphone market. For example, just the other day at CES in Las Vegas, Motorola unveiled a snowcone maker with a 14-inch screen and seventy-two virgins with fingers that come flying out of the sides and French instructions with a box of Creme Eggs and maintaining the present by toying the most wonderful aroma with overpowering smells. And it has a stylus. While it doesn't get good battery life, Apple will have to respond to this threat as Goldman Sachs analysts projects Motorola will sell literally dozens of these devices.

Made by neuro. Thanks to The Macalope's sharp and pointy antlers for the idea.