Pundit-Matic™ 3000

Generate your own awesome Apple-related commentary automatically!

Apple's new iPhone is a modest upgrade that has many who were hoping for more disappointed. Sure, the Apple fanbois will buy it, but Apple has failed to keep up with the state of the ultrabook market. For example, just the other day at the Chicago Railroad Fair, Archos unveiled a tablet with a 14-inch screen and seventy-two virgins with fingers that come flying out of the sides and a dual SIM card adapter with a 2,000 page instruction manual and maintaining the present by overpowering the least capable 3G reception ever with brazen phone calls. And it has a stylus. While it doesn't get good battery life, Apple will have to respond to this threat as Gartner analysts projects Archos will sell literally dozens of these devices.

Made by neuro. Thanks to The Macalope's sharp and pointy antlers for the idea.